DAY 28 / DEC 26
The day after Christmas and all is quiet. Except maybe the feeling you get, walking around outside, waiting for the whistle or just explosion of the mortar that may or may not be already on its way to somewhere near you. During the day, it's really no big deal and if you're walking around with someone, someone to talk to, you don't think about it. But after its dark, and you're alone, the boogey man isn't some crazy psycho or hideous monster, it's the unknown explosion, the unheard impact. And, it isn't even a logical fear – thus far we have only ever been mortared a dawn and dusk. Nothing after dark, they can't see what they're aiming at, much less what they've hit. So, walking around after dark seems logically safer than walking around during the day. But, logic doesn't play too much of a role in an imagination, I guess.
Don't get me wrong, you can't let fear guide your actions, you have to deal with them and accept the possibilities. And you have to carry on with the mission.
Tonight, after eating in the DFAC, I had laundry to pick up, so I did. And its really dark. As I walked back the three blocks or so from the laundry to my CHU, the only thing going through my mind was, "what am I going to do if something blows up there? Or there? Or there?" and, "what if I'm injured, how am I going to help myself? Where is all my medical supplies? Can I get them out quick enough? What is someone else is injured? Do I know where the aid station is?" And, thankfully, I come up with a good answer for each one, I know where to go, I know where everything is, I know basic first aid and life-saving skills. So, I walk on, watching for any sign of an attack, a flash, a pop, anything, maybe a whistle, a hiss, anything that says TROUBLE.
Maybe I'm the only one who thinks these things, but maybe I'm not, and I suppose I'll never know. I will change one thing about how I have everything set up – I am going to move my tourniquet from inside my first aid pouch to the outside, somewhere accessible on my IBAS. That way, if I need it for someone else, or for me, it'll be right there, no digging, unbuckling, or any of that.
So, enough with all the nay-saying and dismal stuff.
Today was just another Groundhog Day, wake-up, check in, use the phone and internet, grab some boxes for mail, lunch, get some work done, prepare for the incoming personnel, move vehicles from where they were to a spot we can work with, etc.
I did notice today that I need to refocus on what I need to do. I've been wandering aimlessly for so long around here (nothing going on), that I actually forgot I needed to do something and would have completely been on my ass if I hadn't just been told the answer to the question I was forgetting before I was required to produce it. And it was strictly by chance that it even came up.
I am now more or less comfortable with how I'm set up the remaining personnel in CHUs. It's a little tight, but they can deal with it until the RETRANS and ENM personnel move out in a week or so.
One month is nearly down. Only 11 or so to go, and the prospect of coming home early is there – not really a reality, but at least something to maybe keep a glimmer of hope alive for. Just in case, I've already started a redeployment timeline with all the necessary bits and pieces planned. No one will ever say we weren't ready to go.
We should begin putting our systems in tomorrow and hopefully be fully in control of the signal side of the house by the end of the week. If all goes according to plan and without a glitch, that is – which never happens.
This morning was actually a very pleasant morning. The air had an unusual nip to it that reminded me a late fall day. The sun shone bright across the sand and I realized that however dismal it is right here, on the FOB, there is actual beauty in nature outside. Maybe the people of this land, Iraq, don't care about it, they trash it, they don't do anything to help themselves, they leave garbage in the streets and piss in the canals, but aside from the people, it isn't so bad. There are acres and acres of trees. They look like very bushy palm trees with sharp points and massive leaves reaching for the sky. There are field of grass or some kind of plant and it grows without trouble.
The only real sore spots here are the cities, or villages, that have been neglected and mistreated and have been the battlegrounds many times over. The people seem dejected, devoid of hope, devoid of anything except sustaining life. The exception, as far as I can tell, is the children, under six or maybe seven. They still have the hope, the child innocence that is inherent in all children, it seems. They want to play, they want to laugh, they want to be your friend. Most everything I've heard or seen indicated this. I, myself, have not seen any children. They don't come around the FOB and I haven't yet left it.
I did hear something disturbing today about the workers on the FOB, the day labor, the Iraqis who come for temporary employment. It seems that they get here very early, well before they are allowed to come in and stand, waiting at the gate. Sometimes, the bad guys come by also and shoot into the crowds waiting to work. I heard that at one time, they killed 30 workers, just for wanting to work on the FOB. The bad guys really are the bad guys - they aren't a "revolutionary" group who want freedom for Iraq. They are thugs who probably have no motive except to kill for the sake of killing. Some may say they kill for Allah, or for God, or for Mohammed, but I suspect that they don't kill for those reasons. The leadership may believe it is working for its Deity, but the average drive-by shooter doesn't. Now that they have trouble killing us, they kill their own people, some waiting for work, some in Mosques where suicide bombers kill themselves and their peers in the house of their God. They detonate car bombs around their own people, with no other target in sight. They are killing their own.
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